So I still have to wait about 50 minutes before my latest video goes up on YouTube. I've basically wrapped everything up already. The blog entry on the look is ready to be published. I wrote a lot about it and I actually feel good about this look. Very fierce, oozing with attitude, and yes, bitchiness. Ahh... I love! Care for a snapshot?
My Wednesday didn't go exactly as planned. I told myself I'd wake up at 10 but I woke up at 1:30PM. I had to rush because if not, my lighting would be ruined for filming! If you're in Manila, you'd know how hot it is nowadays. I didn't struggle that much during filming, but I must admit I had to keep myself from sweating in any possible way. Had the air conditioning at full blast, but the heat fought its way through. I finished filming and taking photos at around 5:30PM. I managed to edit the photos and post the previews on my fan page before working out. I sneaked in a few cereal bars while editing because I was feeling hungry! And I promise not to reach for one bar tomorrow. 85 calories is all they have, yeah right, but not if you grab 5 bars!!! Those bars are evil.
I was already working out by 8:00PM. My legs burned, baby! Just kept going and going. Still did the My Buns Hurt Workout. I love that workout. But I must move on to other workouts soon. I'm actually planning on working out twice from today onwards. Just want to see what difference it would make! Oh, and to give up sweets all in all as well. I love challenging myself! Let's see how long I'll last. Wednesday doesn't count, okay? Since those cereal bars called out to me...my tummy, rather.
It's 4:56AM at the moment and I still have 23 minutes left on the video. I'm feeling mighty frustrated but happy! I know how I shouldn't write about it here! But hey, I feel happy. And I'm not even sure if it is something to be happy about. And I'll keep on beating around the bush just to shut myself up from what I'm actually trying to say. Too risky to say anything, or even mention about it. But now that I have, what the ffffff. Now people are going to wonder. Are you wondering?
I am soooo hoping that Joanne/April goes online. I have to talk to somebody! Anybody??? I feel like I'm the only one awake right now (which is true--but no, my mom is actually awake already and for me, I'm just about to!) I wish I lived in the other side of the world. How cool would that be? I'll know the answer someday...
So it has been 2 weeks since the "breaking apart" and I'm
surprised on how good I am doing. Maybe it's something that really and truly needed to happen. The other side is hurting, I know, and I have not given clear explanations but I'm sorry to say that I'm not obligated to explain anymore. Not anymore. The past 3 years has been wonderful. It really has and I'll never forget it, but just like the sun setting in the afternoon, everything has to end. I'm not even sure if you're reading this, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. It'll get easier, don't worry.
Don't you ever get in a point in your life when you just want to be by yourself? I think I'm at that point right now. And I'm not going to apologize because I want to be
happy happier. Not gonna be a wuss and say sorry for all the things that make me happy. Not anymore.
Yey! Joanne is online! And we are chatting. Ahhhhhh....loads off my chest! I LOVE YOU JOANNE!!! I know I'm disturbing you because you're at work at the moment, but what the heck! Ever had a bestfriend who gets what you're trying to say with just one look? (When we were in elementary, she got me ALL the time!) So lucky to have this biatch in my life!
"How I Roll" by Britney Spears now playing and I cannot resist the urge to dance. I looove the whole Femme Fatale album, actually! I dance to it (as a pre-workout). In private of course! I would never be caught dancing in public alive! Except that time when I joined a dance performance in elementary...
Whoops, the video is now uploaded! And it's 5:20AM. I'll catch some sleep for 3 hours and I swear I'm getting up. Have to run errands (which are not mine) and I have to film as well. Something new! I love surprising people. Okay, okay I'm going. Goedemorgen! (That's Dutch for good morning!) Oh how I love other languages...